hey guys, its your boy, nilson.
Its been a rough couple of years here, but i think im finally done searching for the perfect chemical mixture that will subdue my paranoia. i fucking love this stuff, my life and everything in it. from editing the xenogears article on wikipedia, to reading craigs myspace blogs, to yelling linda in the hallway, to walking to taco bell in 90 degree weather with freaking tori, its all just the greatest thing ever.

mr schulte, im dedicating this journal to you. you will never read this, nor will anyone else. thats the whole point. its like when you hide things under your painting, or in between the pages of your book. no one will ever fucking know, but youll know.

i want to exist forever. the more i spread myself out, the more ill exist. but if i spread too thin, ill just become ones and zeroes, data. but i need to exist forever. i hope one day to reach a higher plane of existence, and gain the powers of a god. i dont want to be a creator or a destroyer, an idiot god, but for now that is all i can do. i am here, on earth, in rochester fucking new york and the only place id rather be is inside a higher dimension, watching forever the children of this god damned planet.

im going to be famous when im older. none of you kids here will ever amount to anything much, but i will have my name in history books, either as a politician or a terrorist. either way, i will be a philosopher on the side.

i want to meet the pope, all the popes, and all the presidents and ask them everything they know. i want to live in he future and the past but most of all the present, because we live in an amazing time. a truly awesome place. haha.

read my book when it comes out, guys. HAHAHA yeah, read it and buy it at barnes and noble. itll be under the shitty books about nothing section. ill be there, waiting to sign it for you.